Start With Helloing NVC next steps #startwithhelloing #swhing
Now that we’re phenomenal #Swhing practioners let’s piss off some people! Just kidding.
The first part of #Swhing is opening up the possibility of relationships pathways with others that did not exist. One objective is we become more cognizant and involved in the world’s diversity, give stereotyping less power and create an exchange of life for life, love for love, understanding for understanding.
Before we continue with the NVC portion let's keep it one-hundred. In some respects #swhing bears some similarities to the game of chess; It is fairly easy to learn how the pieces move but hard as hell to execute proficiently. Time after time we talk to people who readily concede the benefit of meditation and visualization but are hard pressed to include it in their daily lives let alone use it in #Swhing, even for as little as 10 minutes daily. Add to the mix overcoming inertia to move out of one's physical and emotional comfort zone even temporarily in defined discrete time periods and it appears to be a long row to hoe! Not only does #swhing ask it's practitioners to become vulnerable while practicing, it asks practitioners to be open to the possibility of a continued relationship in which the practitioner must necessarily accept or seriously consider increased emotional or physical responsibility or both. This is #Swhing and for many this can be a bit much to ask. The saving grace is that like NVC the benefits are... multitudinous... er, um just shy of infinite for the individual and for society and like chess one can take one's entire life to master it.
On to Nonviolent Communication also know as NVC.
As fun as kumbaya moments are in life there is growth and strength in some friction once we establish a healthy approach. Friction can strengthen relationships and empower individuals. Few of us have relationships with siblings, spouses, parents, our children or coworkers without friction every so often.
People clash over money, in competitive arenas such as work, in politics, over religion, disagreeing over ideas and points of view. How we doing at it?
Could be better. In the media politicians quickly resort to name calling and demonizing those that think different push different agendas. “Reaching across the aisle,” a term widely used in the political arena whereby members of both the US Senate and the US House of Representatives unite in a bipartisan fashion in a mutually agreed compromise on a piece of legislation or other related matters, is a distant memory.
Have you ever been snide, dismissive, condescending or plain out to hurt someone's feelings?
We get unfriended on facebook, get called lamebrain, loser, idiot and worse, usually by people we will never meet, although many will offer this sort of commentary face to face. Initially boy does it feel good! Often conflicts are exacerbated because we mixing opinion with feelings, we try to gain the upper hand-power, or, we try to be right instead of sharing ideas. This makes for a shallow segmented defensive aggressive uncommunicative fearful numb society. Enter Nonviolent Communication aka NVC. NVC theorizes our actions are the ways we try to have or needs met. Is this true? It's a working theory, the premise of a discipline that just might change your life.
“With NVC we learn to hear our own deeper needs and those of others. Through its emphasis on deep listening—to ourselves as well as others—NVC helps us discover the depth of our own compassion. This language reveals the awareness that all human beings are only trying to honor universal values and needs, every minute, every day.
NVC can be seen as both a spiritual practice that helps us see our common humanity, using our power in a way that honors everyone's needs, and a concrete set of skills which help us create life-serving families and communities.”- http://bit.ly/2avlT66
Feelings Needs Requests Observations Feelings Needs Requests
“I grew up in a contentious neighborhood. Fistfights and worse were commonplace. I learned by age ten or before people allowed themselves to be controlled by people many times by their words. I could avoid fights without losing face or talk kids down. I amazed a parent once somehow. She told me, “Use your powers for good.” That was years before Star Wars and before I knew about the power and compassion of NVC."